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Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
-- Milton Berle

Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. And recovery is when Jimmy Carter loses his.
-- Ronald Reagan (During 1980 presidential campaign)

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
-- P. J. ORourke

The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back!
-- Will Rogers

Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidise it.
-- Ronald Reagan

The difference between golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.
-- George Deukmejian

Britain has invented a new missile. It's called the civil servant - it doesn't work and it can't be fired.
-- Walter Walker (quoted in Newspapers, 1981)

Some Have Psychologists, Some Have Sportologists — I Smoke
-- Angel Cabrera

For most amateurs, the best wood in the bag...the pencil!
-- Chi Chi Rodriguez

Show me a man who is a good loser and I'll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss.
-- Jim Murray

Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can't play it.
-- Ted Ray

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
-- Ed Furgol

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
-- Renee Hicks

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.
-- Hank Aaron

I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. I had a hole in nothing. Missed the ball and sank the divot.
-- Don Adams