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Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. Carl Gustav Jung

It is easier to fight for principles than to live up to them. Alfred Adler

Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious. Brendan Gill

Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand. Benny Hill

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity. Albert Einstein

Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercouse, yet he has left it out of his heaven. Mark Twain

A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. Helen Rowland